A brokerage of 4,665 pixel cats · Robinhood Chain
Your broker buys you stocks.
You own your broker.
Retain a pixel cat and it goes to work: every trade of StonkCats pays the desk, every harvest your broker buys tokenized stocks, and your share waits until you collect it. All of it on-chain, none of it in anyone's custody.
The roster · 144 combinations · rarity is rolled
How the firm works
Retain
Pay 500,000 StonkCats once and a broker joins your book at rank 1, working the same block. Its look is rolled on-chain the moment you hire; 50% of the fee is burned.
It works
Your broker never sleeps and never quits. Promote it up the career ladder and it handles a bigger book: a larger slice of everything the desk buys.
Collect
Every harvest, your broker buys tokenized stocks. Your share sits on the desk until you collect it. No deadline, no decay, no middleman.
The floor
A pool of ETH stands under every broker, fed by 30% of the trading tax. Sell back to it any time at the same flat price for every rank - the position burns, and everyone left owns a bigger slice.
The floor
Retain a broker and it takes a desk.
Every broker on the floor is drawn from the same seed as its artwork: the same coat, the same suit, the same tie. They work, they get coffee, they go back to work.
Meet your broker
This is what owning one feels like.
Broker · weight 1.00×
Every broker's voice is rolled from its seed, the same way its coat is. Simulated figures with real mechanics; nothing here is a projection of earnings.
The career
Five ranks. The corner office pays 8.00×.
Every promotion hands your broker a bigger book, from 1.00× at hiring to 8.00× at Partner. The cost per unit of weight falls as the career climbs, so promoting one broker beats retaining several. By design.
| Rank | Title | Weight | Step cost |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Broker | 1.00× | retainer, 500,000 StonkCats |
| 2 | Senior | 1.70× | 275,000 StonkCats |
| 3 | Dealer | 3.00× | 450,000 StonkCats |
| 4 | Principal | 5.00× | 650,000 StonkCats |
| 5 | Partner | 8.00× | 875,000 StonkCats |
Before you retain
What the brokers bring home comes from trading volume on StonkCats, not from the stocks performing. If volume dies, the desk buys nothing. The stocks are tokenized certificates that track price; they are not shares held in your name. This is a crypto-native product for people who understand crypto-native risk, and the full risk disclosure says all of it plainly.
Robinhood Chain · every purchase settles on-chain